WELCOME Fr. Gaetz

I hope you had a wonderful Easter. It was really strange not being together at church. I miss you all, especially Easter Day. Now we have an entire season to celebrate the joy of Easter. Now on the first day of this first week, let me invite you to share a rather unorthodox service I put together a long time ago for the people who gather on Wednesday evening at Atonement Lutheran Church. I had planned to use it at Brighton Towers this year but we still are not able to gather for face-to-face worship so you get to share it. Since I am not with you to lead the service, you get to do all the parts — P for priest, C for congregation.

Have fun!

Gathering Words:

P: Christ is Risen.

C: HE IS RISEN INDEED! ALLELUIA!

P: Blessed be the Holy Trinity, one God, the fountain of living water, the rock of our salvation, our light and our way.

C: AMEN!

A LITTLE REALITY TEST

P: People of God, did you hear the one about the crooked painter who watered down his paint on a church steeple?
C: No! What happened?
P: The first rain — it all ran off.
C: No!
P: The preacher found out what happened;
C: And what did he say?
P: He said “REPAINT, AND THIN NO MORE!”
C: (Groan . . .)
P: If we think we have not sinned (thinned) we deceive ourselves.

C: Gracious God, have mercy on us. We confess that we have turned from you again and again. We are truly sorry and humbly repent. In your compassion and great good humor, forgive us so we might turn to you and live in the new life this Easter season tells us about.

P: Because God loves us so much he is always the God of second chances. Jesus said “Go and sin (thin) no more.” Let us do so!

C: AMEN!

PRAYER OF THE DAY:

Grant, we pray, Almighty God, that we who celebrate with awe the Paschal feast may be found worthy to attain to everlasting joys; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

A TIME FOR SCRIPTURE – sort of…

P: Did you know what kind of car the apostles drove?
C: No, what kind did they drive?
P: They shared a Honda.
C: How do you know?
P: The Bible says that they were “all in one Accord.”

P: Do you know why they couldn’t play cards on the Ark?
C: Nope, Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
P: Because Noah was standing on the deck.

P: For all you coffee lovers out there, did you know that it’s a sin for a woman to brew coffee? Yup, it’s right there in the Bible; it says, He-brews.

P: What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
C: I give up; What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
P: Ruthless.

P: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
C: Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

P: If you’re so smart, tell me this: Besides Adam and Eve, of course, who is the only person in the Bible who had no parents?
C: That’s easy. Joshua, the son of Nun.

A TIME FOR SCRIPTURE – Really!

Acts 2:14,22b-32

Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed the multitude, “Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. You that are Israelites, listen to what I have to say: Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with deeds of power, wonders, and signs that God did through him among you, as you yourselves know — this man, handed over to you according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of those outside the law. But God raised him up, having freed him from death, because it was impossible for him to be held in its power. For David says concerning him,

‘I saw the Lord always before me,
for he is at my right hand so that I will not be shaken;
therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced;
moreover my flesh will live in hope.
For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,
or let your Holy One experience corruption.
You have made known to me the ways of life;
you will make me full of gladness with your presence.’

“Fellow Israelites, I may say to you confidently of our ancestor David that he both died and was buried, and his tomb is with us to this day. Since he was a prophet, he knew that God had sworn with an oath to him that he would put one of his descendants on his throne. Foreseeing this, David spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, saying,

‘He was not abandoned to Hades,
nor did his flesh experience corruption.’

This Jesus God raised up, and of that all of us are witnesses.

Matthew 28:9-15

Jesus met Mary Magdalene and the other Mary and said, “Greetings!” And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

While they were going, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests everything that had happened. After the priests had assembled with the elders, they devised a plan to give a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, “You must say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” So they took the money and did as they were directed. And this story is still told among the Jews to this day.

MORE JOKES:

How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? Because he’s an egghead.

Were does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? From Eggplants.

What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school? He was eggspelled!

Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!

Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.

What kind of bunny can’t hop? A chocolate one!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny.

What do you call a bunch of rabbits in a line dancing backwards? A receding hairline.

MEDITATION: “Clowning Around” Fr. Gaetz

In the middle ages, people really got into the joy of the season with practical jokes, plays and just all around merriment. After all, in the Resurrection, God played the ultimate joke on the devil. The devil thought he had been victorious on Good Friday but on Easter, God played the trick, raising Jesus and proving that the devil’s power was broken. God was victorious. Joy! Joy! Joy!

TALKING TO GOD

Now for a little do-it-yourself church. It’s time to pray for family, friends, the community and the nation. But remember – Not too much about what you want because:

P: Do you know how to make God laugh?
C: Plan your day!

Finally, you may have heard about the little girl who was learning The Lord’s Prayer, and she was doing pretty well, carefully repeating the lines just as her mom told her. One night she was ready to go solo, and launched in all by herself. She got everything just right, with just one little mistake: “Lead us not into temptation, she prayed, but deliver us some Email.”

Let us pray Lord’s prayer, but not necessarily the one you’re used to!

C: Hear us, God of joy, in our laughter and in our tears too, as we offer our prayer, Our Father in Heaven, let your holy name be known, let your kingdom come, and your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today the bread that we need, and forgive us our wrongs, and OK, we’ll forgive those who have done wrong to us, too. Do not lead us into trial, but save us from evil. For we want you alone to rule in our hearts; you have power to transform, and in the light of your smile is your glory. Amen.

May God bless and keep you.

From Fr. Gaetz
“With this service my plans for you for Lent and Easter are complete. I’ll be continuing to provide Sunday services and sermons until the meeting restrictions are lifted. I’m not sure about evening prayers. We’ll see.”

AMEN.

Easter Week April 13, 2020